Independence Day

I've been a slacker in not writing on this blog for a while now. Yes, You can say that I'm kind of occupied lately especially with the new job and all. All means I still manage to make it for gym time in the morning before I go to work and a walk at the park on every Sunday morning with my sister. I am so fortunate that my new job schedule starts from 10am. Yet, not many of us will arrive on time and the company is pretty lenient with this (as of now). Eating healthy (still trying to), consuming more fruits (imported fruits) and making juices before going to the gym. 2012 has been a good change year for me so far!

As it pasts midnight, my nation is celebrating its 55th Independence Day from British colony. Parties and celebrations are happening everywhere. I wonder how many of them really understand the meaning of independence.Despite that, I get excited every time I hear Sudirman's Tanggal 31 song. Honestly, not many of us do especially the younger one even myself.I still remember that every year at 12am on this day, the train, bikes and cars will be making noises when I was younger. Here in the city, people are everywhere doing countdown just like in the New Year's Eve. I still don't understand how some people manage to cramp in hot and humid weather just to do this. It's just not me.

My stomach has been really gassy lately. I will try to keep it up with writing soon.

Till then, xoxo. 

Can You Buy Happiness?

I had a busy weekend. woke up in the morning and ran my 5k for 42 minutes and 5 seconds. That's a record for me! Then, I spent the rest of my Sunday morning, doing nothing but chilling in my bed. That was what I need for a long time. Until my aunt called and showed up at the door early, so I got to get my lazy ass to change and move around.

And so we went to brunch at one of my favorite cafes in town, Haven Cafe. Yea, healthy organic food for us (at least we tried!). I enjoyed the greens in the outdoor. Perhaps, I will sit outside next time so that I have a "picnic" moment. This definitely makes me feel like being in America.  

Then, we headed off to my other aunt's house who has just returned from New Zealand. We were having a good talking time and later on went to shopping for pots. (It's the POT thingy again!)

I've got movie tickets to watch "Safe" which I think it's too much. Seriously, how can a city be damaged that much overnight. I do believe corruption among cops and gangsters do happen in real life.

No one wants to start a day with rain and I mean pouring one. I've decided to take a medical leave and went for an interview. It was a good interview, otherwise they would not asked me to come back for the second one. The second interview was a bit weird where the VP asked me why am I asking so much for the position. She has showed me a negative side at this point. Then, she invited the Sales Director to join in whom I knew was a friend's friend. The interview with him was better until he asked me if I have a hobby. I said of course, traveling, reading and listening to music. He mentioned he would advised his staff to reduce on their hobbies like scuba diving, bungee jumping, rock climbing and other dangerous activities. In my mind, I would be dying to do these activities, but he said it's bad for business. I was a bit stunned on his feedback. Nonetheless, I asked myself if this would be my ideal working environment.

Sometimes, when we get what we want, are we being happy that we really earn that. Or are we being naive in accepting the want is a dream. It might come true one day, yet might not be too. I was really excited about the interview with the Norwegian company. Yet, they have disappointed me also. Luckily, I did not have a high hope. The hope was there and now it's probably 10%. Even if I get the job, I am not sure if I would be happy as where I am now.

At the end of the day, am I wiling to sacrifice happiness for money and fame? Am I ready to take a new challenge that I might regret by not having a life by working like crazy?

Dear Lord, please lead me to the right path of happiness in life- career, relationship and love. Open the room of opportunities for me to be better and move forward in life.

The American Dream

I've been down with sore throat and flu for the past few days now. It's the most awful feeling being sick when you were having public holidays. I have been sleeping and catching up my Desperate Housewife series. Gosh, I miss those days that I just sit back, relax, cocktail, chips and salsa. Those are really my alone time.


Credit: Glenn Vowles


Somehow, I keep remembering my times in Orlando. Why oh Why, I miss it when there were the times that I struggled so much in life . Not to say that I have a better life now. But living in a American dream that everyone thinks as a perfect, I would do it in a heartbeat again. I own a car and a house. I have at least a job that pays the bill. I have wonderful friends from all walks of life.That's all it matters.


Here, I have a totally different lifestyle. I ride public transportation to work. I'm living with my lovely sister (nothing wrong with it). I have a career (or so call I think it is) and awesome colleagues. One thing I don't like about staying in this humid sunny weather is I get sick often.

My first year, I was admitted due to acute apendicitis. The following year, I had acute infection. So, what's my luck for this third year? I hope nothing major that needs admission again. I seriously hate it. Apparently, I have a huge tonsil that makes me easily get sick after the weather changes and food. Now, I realise that it is also lack of water consumption will make me sick too. I used to cold water only, but now I'm loving the hot and warm water. People and things change, so do I.

Good change is definitely a positive, but what about if it's a change that we cannot accept. My work place thought me one thing that whatever the change is, either you suck it up or you leave it as is. It is a shame that it happened to majority of us. But, if there's no conflict there would not be a war too right?



 

Tears in This Gloomy April

God, I can't praise you enough for showing me your guidance on what's right and what's wrong. You had shown me the truth about JJ. A car-less person like me who rarely drive to work and stick to one radio station had been lifted my eyes open that what an asshole men like JJ can be. I was curious to listen to what the caller's conversation with the DJs. The more the caller talked as I listened carefully, I noticed that he was not a stranger. From the way he described his activities and all, I knew that was him for real. He named himself John and calling in to get a coffee date with Sarimah Ibrahim. The night before, I had already deleted him out of my phone book. God had showed me that it was the right move and there is no regret to remove him from my life. Hallelujah. I am sure the right man eventually will show up (Hopefully).

Attended a childhood's wedding could not be anything easier. People tend to ask you on when is your turn. But, my Mr. Right is not even exist yet. I'm not sure if it's better that this person ever exist. I wish that a man would love me, care for me and tender me. Unfortunately, I have not found the person. God, I wish nothing but the best for me and the people I love that they will find happiness and joy with their loved ones.


I have not been this unhappy and tearing up my eyes for a long time. The last time this happened was back few years ago while I was still in Florida. I cried myself into tears and waking up with tears. Talking in tears and thinking in tears. How bad a weekend can turned out huh! It all started when my dad asked me to look at his savings and how he had distributed among us. (Definition of us means some of his children plus my only brother's children). Before, I was naive and just let him be especially since it is his money.

My PMS mood kicked in my system and I just brought myself to tears. I screamed, yelled and cried in front of my parents especially my dad. What right does my brother's children have fairly share on his wealth when I am his daughter. His youngest daughter. I can't accept that. Being a conservative Chinese man, I can understand that he prioritize my brother. But his children? I am sorry, I can't accept it. They had so much luxurious in life that I do not have. They drive brand new cars when I use public transport. I used old phones while they have the latest gadgets. They have a house that they do not need to worry about paying when my brother can manage that. What about me? Is this the love that I am getting from my father? I am very hurt inside my heart. This is worst than falling out of love or being heartbroken my men. I've always been the favorite and is this what I'm getting. There are times that I want to believe that my dad wants me to be a independent and strong woman. But there are times, that I think that I am no longer important in his life.

This makes me want to live far away like what I did before. Living in USA for a long time taught me well. I was struggling to make ends. I have to work hard for what I wanted and never asked. I just wish that they will understand how hard we work to get what we want and they would be proud and appreciate all the little things that my sisters and I did for them. I hate to deal with this kind of situation. A scene where my dad had let me down so much. I am so heartbroken by him. I am sure this feeling will be here for a while. This is going to stay.

I need to love myself more. Weight Loss Parte Tres need to be in line. Taking care of me and myself is more important than anyone else. I love me more. God, make me a stronger person in going through this. Despite it's the ugly truth from my dad, let his heart and mind open for his children. Make him the man that I used to love. Don't let him stab me again in my heart.

Wait a minute.... I am Overqualified?

You must be kidding me when I heard that I am overqualified. I mean the job I was interviewing for last week. It was my first time having 2 interviewers together and asked you a bunch of questions. Earlier this week, I heard that the Hiring Manager (which this position would report to) is changing his mind on the position. He is thinking to have a junior to do the job instead. My recruiter mentioned that I was overqualified if they are looking for a junior position. Today, I heard the Ms HR was impressed with me with the event management and trying to get the Hiring Manager to get me onboard. I am praying that God will make his way for me on this journey. My lucky day will come very soon. I believe and trust that God has a better plan for me. Amen.

Nonetheless, I have make up my mind that this is it for JJ. I've asked him out for a slice of cake after work (Yea, I'm not a coffee person- So, no coffee date). He text me back and said he has plans going on and asked me to take care. In fact, I've asked AA on her view. She said leave him alone and eventually he will be out of my mind. I take that as a challenge to myself. I did what I want to do by sending the sms. Now, I have no regret that I did try to reach out to JJ. Yet, it didn't turn out as what I wanted and hoped for. I've took a deeper courage to even delete his phone no from my mobile. I ran into a friend's status in Facebook earlier which I like it so much. "There are two things you shouldn't waste your time on: things that don't matter and people that think you don't matter."
So JJ goodbye to you. I will leave you alone and rest in peace with your life. I keep a promise to myself that I will not contact you unless it is work-related. 

Some people just need to know me better I guess. If I can walk out from the ugly scene few years back, I can do this in a heartbeat. There's no turning back on what had happened even though I wish things were much easier to deal with back then. I am a mess. I've become a stronger person. JJ mentioned that he wants to settle his stuff first. This is an eye opener for me. I have a lot of things that I need to settle that I've been hanging on. I've made the first step today. I feel that I've been jinxed by certain people and need to get rid of the burden I am carrying along. If I can shower flower water all day long to get my luck back, I would. Then again, does it exist in this world?

Party Weekend

Party weekend was over now! There were so much to celebrate. My Birthday, weddings for my childhood's friend and my cousin's brother. Not forget to mention, my awesome friends who has decided to make their commitment all the way in the Sunshine State. Indeed a tiring and long, yet there was so much laughter, joy and happiness shared along the way. Despite missing out on the commitment ceremony, I am happy that both of them have decided to do so. It takes a lot of courage to do so!

Whenever I heard Nat King Cole's, L-O-V-E, I feel so in love. The kids love the tempo and keep repeating this song while in the car. (Kinda of annoying when you heard them for 30 mins non-stop) Being the first African American who hosted television shows, he is still popular till this day. I love his voice very much. He is one hell of a musician!

30 Year Old Milestone

Looking back at what I've done for the past 30 Years is just insane! Today, I've grown to be a 31 years old single woman. I am independent, mature, strong, self-center and happy.

During my teenage I recalled on an incident where I was so pissed off with my best friend in school because she didn't remember my Birthday. Furthermore, she doesn't know what I like. Looking back, this is so silly! Boy, I tell you I was so disappointed with her. A best friend should know you better, right?

Few years back, when I was living in Florida. Similar incident happened. HN totally forgot about my Birthday and didn't get anything for me. I was pissed and unhappy. He was the closest person to me. How could he forgot and not knowing what I like? Come on.... But when he did remember, he got me a Pink color Ipod! Seriously pink! I have him returned it and changed to another color. I've changed since then.

My milestones for the past 30 years:

• Lost weight!! So far, I've managed to lost 7 kgs in 7 weeks! Kudos!
• Ran 5km for 2 days in a row! First time ever in my lifetime!!! 
• Signed up for a marathon. Even it's only 5km!
• Working out at the gym before going to work every morning. 
• More positive and confidence. Hallelujah to that!
• Happier in my life. I can't ask for more.
• Using the Noise cancelling headset from Bose. Love it so much!
• Start to blog which my passion is writing about my life and thought that I can share with my friends
• Travel to Europe and South East Asia. My love passion! 
• Getting rid of unwanted things like clothes, accessories and etc. It's good for my soul! 
• Organized charity events and managed to pull it off within a few days. 
• Finally feel settle in a room that I can belong to after 40 months.
• My relationship with friends and family are getting stronger and better everyday
• I am much closer to God now! Amen.

A Peaceful Easter

I'm not a Christian, yet I enjoy watching children celebrating Easter. The egg-hunting, Easter Bunny photography session, church session is so much fun. Kiddies are so cute with the colorful eggs running around the greens. In KL, I only see them doing this indoor which was not so fun comparing to do this outdoor. When I was working in TW, the employees got to egg-hunt in the office. :D Those are the days in the memory lane for me.

Kicking off my Easter Sunday with a 5km run on treadmill was absolutely good! Who would guess I managed to pull thru that in 49 minutes and 46 seconds. Never in my mind that I am able to do so in my lifetime. YAY!This is a record-breaking! I weighted myself yesterday morning and I am 7 kg lesser! All my efforts are paying off slowly. Maintaining it will be a challenge. Yes, I believe I will and I can make it!

Spending my day just taking it easy at home and not touching any computer and laptop were not easy. I just need to stay away from it for a little while. Now, this reminded me of my time spent in Saarbrucken. The life was so peaceful and calm without much of electronic gadgets.

This cleaning mood was still kicking in my system that I can no longer stand having too much of things around in the room where I can see them. I used to be attached to my things deeply- clothes, cookware, Tupperware, gadgets, you name it all. After the incident, I've became a better person. Indeed I have lost it, but I'm sure someone else need it for than I do. I do not deny that I have my moments in missing them.
By giving them away, I hope the other person could better used it and also make a habit for me to keep buying.:D

My sis asked me why am I giving away the Winnie the Pooh toy (there's a duplication) that I've kept for a while. They were so cute. Guess what I am going to do with them. Better, where are the rest of the toys going to end up?On top of my closet in a black bag specifically. I will hang onto them till for a while. Maybe till I move away or have my own children one day. I've managed to screen them out and giving it away to the children in the charity house. I doubt I would be able to go on this Wed due to the transportation mode which needs to be in service. Cross-finger that I might be able to get my lovely cousin to go with me.

Till next year, have a peaceful Easter and Passover.

Shall I Keep it to Myself?

Finally after 4 months didn't go out and party, I went out clubbing tonight. I feel old and couldn't cope with the party people anymore. Yet, I was in my mood tonight to enjoy some music. You know the usual stuff, meeting new people, dancing and small talk. I always enjoy this moment except that the music is too loud most of the time.

Keeping to myself for a day and couldn't get this JJ out of my mind yet. I will and I can. Time is all I need. Please be kind to me on this. Listening to KY's advise, it helps me not to be bother about other people's feelings anymore. I am a kind-hearten and easily feel sympathetic to others. I do not want another person to be unhappy. The question is do they make me happy then if I make them happy? Not all the times.

Few days ago, I've found out that JJ was back in town and we've been exchanging notes. He mentioned that he was occupied 24x7 due to his work. Oh well, that's part of his life!

Me: Hey, sleeping yet? Busy?
JJ: Nope, just finished a meeting and now going home
Me:What a long day? Had ur dinner yet?
JJ: Yes, together meeting dinner
Me: Are u working next wed? I want to ask if u want to join me to drop something at a charity home in Kepong
JJ: I will be away again outstation. Sorry.
Me: :( I think I miss you. I read your blog earlier. U miss me or not?
JJ: What blog?? Miss you?? hahaha... So funny
Me: Ur old blog la with your daughter's pic!!! :P i know I'm funny!!! Now only u know ah... Can we get to know each other more?
JJ: Let settle my life first. As per now i just can say friends. I going though something serious with someone.
Me: Understand. No worries. Have a good night. :)

JJ, I am going to let times to pass you by. I want to give it a shot but I guess not this time. KY said that I'm too direct with you. Oh well, I ain't your regular Asian mentality thinking. I am more of a American style, say what I want and do what I feel like. That's my strength and weakness. Do except me for who I am. I am not a pretender. I am ME!

One fine day, the right person will feel my love just like Adele's song- Make You Feel My Love. This song was originally sang by Bob Dylan's Time Out of Mind Album in 1997. It's just amazing when after a while this song has become popular again.

P/S: I am so excited and happy that I've lost 7kg or 15 pounds as of now! Just happy that I managed to pull off this diet thingy! YAY!! :D

It Takes 40 Months!

40 months- it took me that long to dig into my Bose Noise canceling headset. The awesomeness of the sounds system is amazing. I technically cannot hear my surrounding voice. What have I been thinking by putting it aside? I have no freaking idea why but there are a lot of things that I still have not dig into for a long time.

It's just mind blowing when I have let myself down for sometime, about the same length of abandoning this brand new spanking headset! I was letting myself down by consuming too much till I hate looking at myself in a picture. I have to crop my face out of my full body picture.

Getting to know myself better and changing the way I live, I have become a positive, confidence and energetic person. Even though I am alone, I am so thankful for my day. I am just enjoying my peace. What's more to celebrate for today was I did my very first 2km on a treadmill in 19 minutes and 20 seconds. Never in my life I have hit this record. My inner me wants to make this happening. Running for a marathon was one of my to do list before I hit 30. Oh well, age doesn't matter when I make it happen right? :P

June 24 would be my first 5km marathon run. I am preparing for this run mentally and physically. Honestly, I have never seen a man like JJ who has been so encouraging on this. After reading his old blog, I realized how running marathon had helped him. Preparation on this really excite me on if I will truly make this happen.




I really want to make this good habit a routine. A part of me. I have never felt so amazing and great. It hits me that I need to love myself better and more. This is what I wanted and not what other people wants or needs! It's healthy for me even I'm alone. I have never been happier in my life! Now did I mention that I do not need another soul to make my day. :) God has its plan layout for me. I'll need to be patient and the day will come.

Easter Day 2012 is meaningful with this new life changing routine. I am thankful and enjoying the time. Lord, you have listen to my prayer that I want to be happy and make people around me to be happy. My smile has make someone's day. I am truly blessed.

Seriously, Divorce Expo?

Starting my day with confidence and alive, I learn to love myself more and more on a daily basis. When it used to be what other people wants and not what I want, I start to realize how much I have let myself down. Now, I am on the right track in loving and caring myself better by watching my diet and be positive. Weight Loss Parte Tres definitely changes my life. I have never felt this great before. I know I can and I know I will. I need to shred off another 10kg if possible.

Browsing thru the news today, my eyes catches a headlines, "Divorce expo a counterpoint to wedding industry" by Leanne Italie. This expo provides support for all divorcees to start a new life. Some might get lucky to go thru this separation easily and some might have gone thru hell. Vendors from purveyors of wrinkle reduction, liposuction and breast augmentation to life coaches, a matchmaker and the writer of a book on how to investigate your date were happily entertaining the group. 

"People need to be educated. People's lives get destroyed by divorce because they don't know everything they need to know." ~Baras Feuer


The one that interests me was Hiromi Schaub's story. Being a Japanese married to an American lawyer, she keep her divorce silence from her co-workers or any friends in Japan. Her ex-husband had racked up thousands of dollars in debt using her name.

"I don't have family here in America. I'm all alone. It is very hard," Hiromi said. "I wanted to come here and see other people, what they are doing and how they are getting through. I never thought I would get a divorce. I thought I was happy."

No matter whose fault in a divorce, either party is being judged. Normally a bad judgement will be punished especially to those who have not moved on to a new relationship. We do not need to be in the old school to go thru this painful judgement. I wish we can all look at different perspectives on a relationship. When that day comes, all of us will live in a happy place.

Kat's Day!

I hereby announced that April 4 is Kat's Day. :) She surprised me with dropping a note on Facebook and we keep writing back at each other. It was a rare incident that Kat will do that! But then, it's the thought that counts that she remembers me. I really appreciate it with ♥

Love you Birthday Girl! Thank you for messaging me and it really means a lot to me! I guess you feel that I need someone to cheer me up a bit huh! They said when you are so close with someone, you will feel their pain as well. Nonetheless, the happiness that they went thru. We were there for each other during the bad times and now, here we are again.

Thank you for being you, Kat! I will always love you just like Whithey Houston's song. :)

First Life

I was asleep by 730pm last night. A quick bite of salmon sandwich and that's all it took me to go to bed. Really exhausted and long Monday.

While waiting for my sister's ride back home, my mind was recalling what JJ said to me. This is his third life. Now, that I think about it. This is my third life too.

My first life was a happy childhood time spent in Malaysia. I had a memorable memories by being the youngest sibling and being spoil at home. Weight problem has occurred ever since. My dad loves me dearly while my mom traveled around. I've turned out to be independent, bossy, mature woman. I am not a smart student, but I depends on luck a lot. I scored all As in my primary and middle school. Luck was not on my side when I hit the final year in secondary school. Oh well.... I remember being teased by others that I am fat in school since young age.

At the age of 15, I shared my frustrations with my physician. She has prescribed me with diet pills. I took them and cut down on eating and walking back and forth to school was my routine. I was down to almost 50kg from 65kg. I have never felt so great before. It lasted till I went to college in 1998. Then, living in the city changes everything. My roommates and housemates were wonderful people that made my day and night.

Lost of Voice

Waking up on a rainy Monday morning is not cool when you add on lost of voice. My Monday Blues is going to be a long day and suck. I pray that it will be easier on me. It's really annoying me when I cannot talk.

I wish to take a MC but then think again I won't be doing anything if I would be staying at home except sleep. I do not want to be in bed for too long. I've been out of the office since Thursday and the past weekend had been insanely on-going work.

When I think about my tiredness, I also slow down and put myself in other people's shoes on their situation as well. Everyone wants to be rich and buy things that they want and like. There is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. Everything comes with a price. We might look at how luxurious it is to own a Bentley car, multi-million condominium and so forth, do we know how much time and effort that they have put on to make a monthly payment?

Experience thought me well. All of us wants a shortcut in life. We all wish for that. Unfortunately, not in the real world. Donald Trump once said, "Everything in life is luck". I do believe that luck is for real. Otherwise, I would not be here. 

B.B. King's Bad Luck Soul somehow remind me on Mimi's Cafe that I used to love for brunch. Too bad, the place that I went had been given a bad review on the customer service from my good friends. I got to tell you that the muffin is a heaven! 

Sick Puppy

I'm not feeling so great today even though I was not working. My nose is getting stuffier and my throat is drying up. This is not cool at all especially when I have to work for the rest of the weekend.

This whole entire week, my mind has been blown away from JJ. I can't stop thinking about him at all. Knowing that he's offshore and not sure if he's back on land yet, really haunting me. Do I want to call or sms him? I don't want to sound like a desperate woman but I do want to get to know him better. I am for real this time.

Maybe I should hang on to it till the weekend is over or something. Or maybe I should just wait till he calls me. I wasn't sure if he really want to see me again. Who knows, he might not want to see me again, right?

Z said that I would know to work out my charm in getting JJ. I know I will eventually, but it's really a matter of time. I don't want to scare him away, especially when he's my customer at work. Conflict of interest occurs.... :(

I really can't stop going back and forth to look at our text exchange. I regret that I've deleted his texts to me. I wish there's a recycle bin stores in my phone.

JJ ooo JJ.... when will you be back? I want to see you.... I miss you already!

Over exercising?

Going into my 4th week without rice, eating less and exercising, I am  5kg less!

Weight loss is a on-going battle that I have for myself. I realize that at the end of the day, I am the only one who loves myself more than anyone else. This is about time I do things for my own sake.

I've been waking up early and hit to the gym before going to work. This has become a routine that I enjoy to start my day with. Spending 45 minutes to an hour has given me a stress release. I am much happier and take things easier on myself. Why waking up and be mad at the world when you can wake up and have another day in life! Enjoy the day with smile.

This morning, it happened that I'm pretty tired. Yet, I managed to hit the treadmill for about 20 minutes. My leg muscle and whole body aches so much. My colleagues said I've over-exercise! I've never take this so serious before till now. It bothers me if I would eat more than usual and feel guilty by not going to exercise for a day. 

I was partly disturbed by the blood donation center yesterday when they said my iron was too low to donate. My menstrual is around the corner and I believe it's part of it too. I can feel it's coming with my bloated stomach and exhaustion. Oh well, trouble for being a woman.

Tomorrow I hope will be a good day. This evening, I just want to sit back and relax. Dinner is not on the agenda, that's for sure.

March 26, 2012
Me: Hi, how is Bintulu treating you?
JJ: Hey, busy as usual... Going offshore early morning
Me: Offshore till when? It was pouring rain here. Anyhow, take care. Be safe. Good night. See u when u get back. :)
JJ: Will do, thanks.

JJ, I miss you already and I can't stop thinking about you. God, I hope that if he's the one for me that you planned. If not, don't let him break my heart. I don't want to be in tears.

Butterflies

Indeed it had been a while that I have not felt butterflies in my stomach! (In a good way... :D) Looking back, I rarely had butterflies at all no matter who I am with. But this time, it was for real. Perhaps, I really nervous when I don't think that something like this is going to happen for real.

"Love is like a butterfly, it goes where it pleases and it pleases wherever it goes.
Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush. Hold it too loose, it'll fly."

God has sent me an angel. He had made my day. Let's named him JJ. He is one of my customers at work who I had small talk and it leads to something more than that. It was purely 2 lonely and boring people who spent time together. No sex involved. I was opening my ears to JJ and heard his side of stories. He had been married for 7 years and have a daughter. One day, his wife returns home and requesting for a divorce. Reason being was she had an affair with a foreigner who promised her the sun and the moon. She took off to Aussie land with their daughter. He is still heartbroken till today. I can feel him as I had almost gone thru this but it's just that I do not have any children involved. Throughout the past 2 years, he had gone for 14 relationships but no one stay for long. I am sure there are a lot of reasons involved behind it. Yet, let's not forget that few months ago he had a motorcycle accident which lead him to insert a metal on his right leg. Now, he is having a slightly problem in walking and being active. Going to physio is his focus now instead of running on a marathon.

Flirting is always fun till it hits you that is that what I want and ask for? I text him on a personal side and wondering if he wants to catch up for lunch. Too bad, he had a lunch meeting to attend to. Though he asked for coffee outing, I am just not a coffee person. Surprisingly, he text me back the next day and this is where it all began.

March 23, 2012- JJ invited me to go to a Formula One concert. I was nervous and having butterflies for a few hours. I was happy and keep it to myself. Honestly, I have never felt that way for a while. Will you consider that as a date? It felt to me like 2 lonely persons going out together for the sake of boredom. We went for dinner and he sent me home. I noticed that he is quite an observer himself. JJ noticed that I was without my laptop bag and commenting on my Friday's outfit (tube dress with flip-flop). Come on, what you expect for a Friday! He was shaking his head with my attitude. When we were walking to the parking lot, I saw a friend whom I met in Florida. We keep updated ourselves on Facebook.  I was shying away, but he encouraged me to go by and say hello. I did and catching up for a little while with the friend.

My observation on JJ was somehow I think it is most likely that he is such a lonely person. He keeps on his tweets and phones which annoyed me a bit. But then again, he is always by himself and it's an addiction to keep playing with the gadgets. I don't think anyone wants to be lonely all the time. I feel for him. He is a wise, smart, responsible man and like to advise from his observation. JJ is open minded and listen well too. More observation is on the way.......:)

Somehow, I didn't manage to get the job that I went in for interview last week. As my ex-colleague who was working there said, not that I am not good. But there are a few concerns such as not to interfere with the business relationship and she felt that I am good in marketing which I should be bored if I am desk-bound. Anyhow, I guess that's why I was not having such a high hope too. I didn't hurt so much when I wasn't selected as a candidate. Life must goes on too.

I should be happy with what I have. Live a simple and happy life. Life beyond my means. God has its plans all layout for me. Will JJ be a heart breaker or heart sealer? Stay tune for more........

Oh Happy Week!

Definitely I can say that I've been having a really good week overall. Just being positive by watching my diet, exercise, keep things simple and easy and most importantly being happy in life.

There's nothing that you can take this week away from me except my sister who really makes me up and down. I can't blame her due to my uncontrollable temper.

Besides that, I'm just chilling and staying cool despite having to pay a illegal traffic summon ticket which cause me a one-day pay. What are you supposed to do when you can't find a parking when you are willing to pay?

My interview with a US MNC company went well. Yet, I do not want to have such a high hope because people tend to disappoint me. If things are meant to be mine, it will happen. Just be patient and God has its plan, the best for me.

I realized that my perception and attitude towards people, things and even vacations are not that exciting and surprising anymore. Maybe I do not want to have a high hope and being disappointed due to the history. Until I am sitting in the seat flying, then it will be a truly vacation.

I received another call from a reputable US MNC today and hopefully will hear back on any post available by next week. Sometimes, I miss working in the corporate world. But sometimes, I hate the dirty politics. Company policies that will teach me discipline, on-time and etc....

Calmer Me!

My morning got distracted a little bit due to waking up at 5am! I missed out on my morning workout due to this. Overall, I rate my day as 9/10. I was totally in good mood and being nice. I swear this is an amazing day despite missing someone badly. But then again, is it worth our time to keep thinking on impossibilities?

I learn to love myself more by exercising and eating right (Well, if you consider skipping meals and 1 meal a day is right thing to do). Yet, I take a lot of fruits though and drinking lots of water. I felt guilty by even consuming a sip of 100 Plus!

Jazz music really helps me today at work. Pretty tight up at work and keep myself busy. Never thought today could turnout to be such a Good Day!

Tomorrow, it's going to be a long day. I hope it's a productive one.

Me Day!

It's a ME Day! Rarely, I get to spend the whole day for my own good sake. As I am doing my diet along with exercising, I feel my energy is high. I won't get tired easily.

What's worse than to start your day with slightly depression. Spent an hour in the park for a walk definitely helps a lot!

I've managed to take a nap before heading out to the rest of the ME Day.It's about time to meet up with a old friend from college and catching up with our life. We had late lunch and followed by eye threading session was a good idea. I missed having a friend who I can get to go out with and having some fun.

We then head to catch up on our life. Her married life versus my single life. She is younger than me and was my junior. Her married life could be much better without the little drama from her mother in laws. I could imagine how frustrating life can be when you are treated unfairly compare to her own children. Seriously, one day she would have just blow up if her husband keep remaining silence treatment. She and I have almost the same character and we became good friends during my final year in college. We had some good moments and thus managed to bond well.

I've noticed that I'm a much calmer person now compare to before. The last time I blew up was back in Nov 2011. I realized that life is so short and so don't sweat over tiny things that can destroy your moments. Nothing is worth it to be crying over. (it's so easy for me to say) My mind needs to be in a calm and strong situation. No matter how challenging life is, you can smile it off and take it easy. Why bother stressing out for something that could not have happened and should not have happened.

After the mini- session of counseling, I head to herbal ball massage. Let's say I still prefer a traditional massage esp from mom. I miss her touch very much. I wish she's here. :(

Heartbroken Spring

Looking back at what I've wrote really made me feel how fast time flies by. Here we are in the 3rd month of 2012. Wow! I just feel that it was just the beginning of Spring Break! But, it was the feeling 10 years ago. Damn, I'm old!

I'm not getting younger anymore and the reality to hit my 3rd decade of life would be in blink of eyes. There are so many things that I wish that could happened and there are things that I wish would not have happened.

Wish to happen

• Be strong and more independent
• Pray harder
• Work harder
• Stop yelling/ screaming
• Be patient
• Slow down 
• Listen more
• Save more money
• More vacation
• Love myself more

Wish not to happen

• Do something stupid
• Flirting with "Z"
• Crying and tearing myself
• Looking back in regret thing

March 09, 2012
Me: Do you like me?
Z: Yes
Me: Do you enjoy my companion?
Z: Sort of, I enjoy your companion.
Me: Damn it. Either you can say yes or no. There's no sort of in this question.
Z: Yes, I enjoy your companion.
Me: But......

March 10, 2012
Me:Do you have feelings for me?
Z: Even if I do, there are a lot of barriers.
Me: Silence for a moment. I just want you to know that these rides were the highlight of my day. But things got to change. It's unhealthy for me and you.
Z: Yes, change is good.

God, please grant me the strength to go thru this. I didn't want to walk down the drama road. Your test is really challenging and I wish to excel it with rainbow colors. Keep me away from doing crazy shit and thinking.

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts," said Eleanor Roosevelt

 

16 days on 2012

Wow! I can't believe that we're at 16 days of 2012. How fast time flies by!It has been a while since I blog. Always the delay in time and work that makes me become lazy. I hope I am not the only one.

I had one of the longest nap earlier and thus making me awake at this midnight hour while having one of my favorite singer's music playing and memories of IHOP Pancake.

To think about it, this whole past week had been a dull week for me. Hoping this week would be better. I am just not into doing anything. It's the holiday blues that I've been having all along. Damn it! I really need to get my ass move things around and stop goofing. Otherwise, I am in serious deep shit. :(

Well let's see what I have done in 2011 that I can make 2012 a better year.

- Managed to do a last minute Christmas Dinner ( a lot of improvements could be done)
- Managed to pull together a Charity Dinner for orphanages (I'm really happy and honour to do this! )
- Managed to run a retail shoes business (I am so suck at this!)
- Failed to lose weight!!!! (Every year's failure!)
- Managed to send pendants to my BFFs across the miles (Really thankful that it happened)
- Managed to meet some new friends (trying to open my door and heart to someone)
- Attended Jacky Cheung's 1/2 Century Concert (I don't mind going for another one, he's a awesome and talented singer)
- Visited Da Nang and Ho Chin Minh in Vietnam (I wanna go back and stayed there forever)
- Visited my sister and her family in Frankfurt (Wish she could be nearer)
- Toured France, Switzerland, Austria on a train (It was a wonderful experience)
- Settled in my room after 3 years (Seriously, it took me that long!)
- Successfully broke a chest closet within a month of purchase (Oh sucks!)
- Got myself a Longchamp bag and a few other bags (Is it matter?)
- Clean up and gave away unwanted things (Hallelujah, that I manage to do this.)
- Permed and highlighted my hair (I really like it very much with the long hair)
- Rearrange my room (It looks better and going to decorate it more)
- Spoke to a person that I thought I'm not going to forever (SOS situation and I felt it sympathy)
- Started to blog (It's one of the things that I want to do for so long and finally achieve)
- Picked up a reading behavior in line (I really need to read more)
- Managed to do a simple website (Believe me, it's not easy)


So what is my resolution this year? What I want to accomplish in 2012? Stay tune..... 

My Da Nang's Story!

	Some friends told me that you have to book ahead of time to fly with Air Asia in order to get a good deal. It wasn’t for me at all. This was my second trip that I considered booking last minute and had a wonderful experience of a lifetime especially this one! The excitement of this trip began when I first initiated to book the trip a month prior. Yet, we got the best deal to Ho Chi Minh City (HCM), one of the busiest traffic cities in South East Asia. Thanks to web check-in otherwise, my travelling buddy would have missed the flight! She managed to get her passport in time so that she won’t miss it! (Definitely no jokes when all you can forget is a passport to board!) We both have forgotten on saving our host’s contact number and no idea where shall we wait when we arrived. A wonderful thing called Wi-fi internet connection appears. We managed to get it thru a friend before we took off. We spent a night in HCM and had one of the best noodles in town, Hủ Tíu Nam Vang. Despite Vietnamese food is famous with their pho, we decided to have something different and it turned out good. Keep in mind that in Vietnam, every stall makes their specialty pho so it is pretty easy to order. In the morning, we boarded to another low-cost carrier to hop on to Da Nang, the third largest city in Vietnam. Travelling in monsoon season is definitely challenging because we’ll need to deal with rain and the shorter daytime.
My wonderful Vietnamese friends managed to get a motorcycle rental for us and we travelled around with this two-wheel vehicle, which is the most popular transportation mode in this country. Now, let me remind you it’s not easy to drive around even in a city like this. We managed somehow to survive Da Nang’s road despite that it is a light traffic compares to HCM. After indulging into a homemade cooking by our lovely hostess, we drove around Da Nang town. We managed to catch the fishermen back from the South China Sea and selling their daily catch by the roadside.  Drizzling rain definitely made the Vietnamese Coffee taste so much better after all.
In the evening, we ride to Hoi An, a UNESCO approved world-heritage.  There are a lot of similarities with Hoi An, Malacca and Penang in Malaysia which was a trading port in the 15th to 19th century in South East Asia. They are all rich in the culture heritage. One thing you must try is their chicken rice. Yellow rice with boiled free-range chicken and vegetables on the top while spicing it up with chili paste is finger licking good! The next day, we woke up for a sunrise at 5am. Unfortunately, the weather was cloudy and foggy. Don’t be surprised that the sea is filled with people who swim, jog and exercise even before the sunrise. After breakfast, we went to the wet market to get some fresh seafood and vegetables. We ride thru Hải Vân Hill drove by mountains and passed thru waterfalls which gave us a good view of Da Nang! My host and hostess brought us to a secluded fishing village, Lập An where you can find the friendly yet warmth of Vietnamese hospitality. They both managed to arrange a homemade seafood lunch for us to fill our hungry stomach where the seafood was freshly caught.
Upon returning, we went to a private beach (for now) which they are all going to be developed as a 5-star hotels and resorts soon. To sweeten our day, we spoilt ourselves with Chè Thái (fruits in coconut milk) and Rau câu dừa (coconut jelly with milk) to complete our wonderful and memorable day.
Despite the cloudy and foggy weather, we still wake up to catch the sunrise in case we got lucky. But we were not that lucky. We enjoyed people watching facing the South China Sea while listening to the ocean waves. We soon need to board the plane back to HCM, and really going to miss this place.
The flight that we had booked was scheduled at 7:50 am thus arriving at 7:26am gave rooms for the low-cost carrier to deny our boarding for a domestic flight. Forever I will remember that not to fly again with this particular carrier again. We have to wait until afternoon to board another flight back to HCM. We then went on with a motorcycle ride to Ba Na Hills which has the longest cable car in the world. They offer amazing sceneries of mountains, waterfalls, and clear water from the mountain.  On our way down from Ba Na Hills, we were told that the cable car would not allow passengers to ride down. Somehow, my host managed to pull some strings and got us down within minutes! Before boarding the plane from Da Nang, we managed to get a bit on Bánh tráng cuốn thịt, a type of Vietnamese summer rolls before saying goodbye to our wonderful friends who has treated us with a world-class hospitality. This is a wonderful travelling experience that I would treasure. Travelling with a good buddy that can make you laugh all the way, warmth hospitality from good friends, indulge in the savory food and nonetheless magnificent view of mountains and oceans which takes your breath away!