Wake Up Call

It had been 5 weeks now since the incident happened. Time goes by quickly. I could not imagine myself going thru the same thing ever again. Yet, I can say it’s a wakeup call from the man above that I discover myself especially on my health issues. 

Admitting to the people surrounding me that I have depression was easy. However, no one seems to know how to help me. Some told me to learn a new hobby, take a vacation, don’t think too much and all. They do not know what I’m going thru especially at nights. I completely broke down and fall apart. 

Luckily, my work place is offering me to see a psychology and pick up the tabs from it. Else, I will be a mess still. 

 For the first time, I’m seeking a professional to talk to me. We spent hours talking about what had happened that night. Nonetheless, we spoke about my life and work.  She diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is part of anxiety. I’ve been to her twice now, and feel much better. Talking to her did help me in a way to discover myself more. Besides, I get to release my emotions since I can’t do my self-talk in the morning due to skipping swimming in the morning. 

Between all the doctors’ appointments and other things that happened during these past weeks, I am being awake by how fortunate I am compare to my cousin brother who is in the hospital. He had a minor stroke in his brain which causes him to have a blood clot and “water”. Both of us grew up together, and we are at the same age. He has always been the smarter one; I’m just being luckier one. 

I think about what if I was in his position. I think about that I would spend days and weeks in the hospital bedridden. I think about the times that I would miss out in life. I think about the smiles, kisses, hugs and love from the people I love. I think about the worries from my loved ones. I think about death that could happen to me. 

Yet, I tell myself that I am strong. I am blessed. I am thankful. God has a reason for me to still be alive and do the things that I’m doing and will do. It’s a wakeup call for me to accomplish possibilities that I could have done. The things that I can make a difference in my life to make it a better world.